“Why say "yes"? "Yes" means opportunity. "Yes" makes the dots in your life appear. And if you're willing and open, you can connect these dots. You don't know where these dots are going to lead, and if you don't invest yourself fully, the dots won't connect. The lives you make with those dots always lead to interesting places. "No" closes doors. "Yes" kicks them wide open.....As long as you're able to say "yes", the opportunities keep coming, and with them, the adventures. Say "no" to fear and complacency. Keep saying "yes" and the journey will continue.”
―William Shatner, Shatner Rules: Your Guide to Understanding the Shatnerverse and the World at Large
"Well look, I've said yes. I don't mean yes when you're asked to jump off a bridge, but I mean yes to life. … Life beckons you, follow the beckoning! And in my case, if it's a country music album, which I have out there now, say yes, it's a great album! People are loving it. Say yes to this book that I wrote and that ellipse. Live long and..., dot dot dot — you have to do it yourself. And I've got a Christmas album called Shatner Clause coming out in October. Electric bikes, pedego bikes, go get on a bike and pedal, and then if you get tired hit the electric switch. The world is alive and waiting for you. If only you would just say yes to it."
— William Shatner: 'Live Long and... What I Learned Along the Way’
A few months ago, around March 1st, I was sitting at my dining room table, happily working away as my children were at school and wouldn’t be home for a little while longer. I heard my phone vibrate, looked down, and when I saw the number, I’ll be honest, I hesitated. I knew when I picked it up, it would most likely mean more work for me in one way or another.
But, I answered the phone anyway.
It was a woman calling me from Peru. Her daughter is living here in SC with her grandmother and going to school with my daughter. Last year, I helped her daughter get to school by driving her for a few months.
I could tell she was crying when she said my name.
“Maria?” I asked. “Are you okay?”
And then she proceeded to explain that she was at the airport in Peru with her mother who was supposed to be boarding a plane to return here to be with her daughter.
Except, something went wrong and now, the grandmother couldn’t return.
So, as I listened to her story, I knew what was coming. The weekend before the daughter stayed with us and now…
As Maria sputtered what was going on, something overtook me and I said “do you need me to keep her for the rest of the year?”
“Could you?” She asked.
“Yes,” I said without thinking. Notice I said without thinking.
I have a three bedroom house. AND… I was in the snails-pace process of having an addition put on the back of the house. It’s a small addition but still. And my husband just agreed with the general contractor that we should redo the entire living room. I see he used the word YES as well.
And, I just agreed to add another child to my home. And not just any child, a female teenage person who would bring the total of dramatic actor teenage girls to three.
Three…children…in…my…house. With lots of construction workers. HUH.
Ever have a moment where you want to go back and say something totally different? Hmmm??? Yes, I was having that moment.
Then, I had to tell my family what I had agreed to. And for how long it would be. It would be three months of a young woman sleeping on my couch because I had no where else to put her.
Wait… I did have somewhere to put her. I could let my highly-functioning autistic kid (who volunteered by the way), sleep on the couch because my SOOPERDOOPER introvert younger kid was having none of it. Have you ever tried to get an ASD kid to sleep on a couch? I found out at 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5am that this was not going to work.
So, my poor friend is on the couch.
But wait! I looked out at the frame of the new room. She could move in there! Yippee - I had found the solution.
I think maybe she’ll get in there for about one day because it’ll be done right before she leaves at the end of May.
The other thing I had to do? I learned how to cook Peruvian food. But I have to tell you, it’s much healthier than our usual diet. This kid has only eaten what her grandmother cooks for her, so the first time I gave her a bagel she was just like “What is this?” (After she ate it she liked it, but she prefers fresh food.) Side Note: She is bilingual.
So, she’s been staying with us for the past two months and everyone is still friends. All the while my house has been in complete disorder due to some really, really slow construction. Hey, it’s just like that movie: Everything, Everywhere All At Once.
All because I said YES. I had no idea what to expect or even if we would live through this experiment (Right now, my house guest is staying on the couch in the dining room because we’ve reached the painting stage.)
Do you know how many people have said to me “That’s really nice of you”?
It’s not about being nice… well, maybe it is… but for me, it’s about someone who needed help. If I hadn’t stepped in, this smart, funny, nice, ambitious kid would have had to repeat eighth grade. No one should have to live through eighth grade twice, right? No one.
At the beginning of this, I kept thinking that maybe someone else would step up and help. Actually, I really thought I needed that. But you know what? I’ve gotten to know this kid and what a pleasure it had been. I hope I’ve shown my kids that you can go out of your way to help someone or sometimes those opportunities just drop in your lap and you need to say YES whether you’ve got the room or not.
And I hope my house guest forgets about my awful cooking, the cat jumping on her in the middle of the night, the stench of fresh paint, the lack of privacy, and our limited WIFI, but remembers how much we all wanted her here. I only have 18 days left with her and I know I’m going to miss her when she leaves. I’ve been alerted that she’s not returning and have been trying to make this time as easy as possible.
So this Mother’s Day, I get to have not one, not two, but three kids hang out with me as I persecute them by making them hike in nature, visit a botanical garden or even an art museum!!!! Wait, maybe an historical mansion tour! YES!
I got all that by just saying that tiny, three-letter word of YES.
So I hope this Mother’s Day that because you said yes to motherhood, that you realize your love has profound effects on generations of people. Your kids, their friends, their friend’s parents, your kid’s employers… what we do reaches far beyond our own kids. And it’s all because you said yes.
Mary said Yes, too and thank God for that.
So, if you’ve wondered where I’ve been, I’ve been here, treading water, hoping I remember to brush the dog’s teeth, walking through the plastic that has cordoned off the two sides of my house, and praying and hoping that I’m doing the right thing.
Happy Mother’s Day!! Thank you for reading!
PS. I just finished editing two more books - First Christmas at Pinedecker’s Farm, and The Jack Pact and will be releasing them as soon as I can.